Re: The Official End of the World (2012) thread!

[Wonko the Sane]

Also, just for halloween:

Spoiler:

[masterchief]

and how about lucasarts being sold to disney? George Lucas actually takes this end of the world crap very seriously. Does he know something we don't? o.O

[Wonko the Sane]

Cue imperial march:

[Theicecreaman]

Hahahahaa

[blivvy]

That sounds like a plan. Now to come up with some creative ideas of how I killed the zombies xD

[Wonko the Sane]

Back in aught twelve at the dawn of our brave new world, I was prepared, boy, let me tell you. I had two safe houses stocked and loaded, but what I didn't count on... what nobody counted on... was the runners. It wasn't like in the movies, you see. Everyone sees those slowpoke zombies draggin' their heels and think they're better than those mindless animals. They can handle the apocalypse. Turns out we were wrong. We were dead wrong.

What really happened... they were fast. So fast that if you let your guard down for even a second, you could end up mince meat for some zombie's dinner. And they could pounce, oh boy could they jump let me tell you. I kid you not I once saw one leap ten feet in the air to reign death from above down on a poor family and their kids. Those poor kids were just your age. They didn't stand a chance.

Now I was prepared, but not for that. I had to rethink my strategy, and fast. I opted for my hunting bow while most grabbed their guns. The fools were out of ammo inside of a week, all those wasted bullets. Those zombies were too fast, you see. Now my approach wasn't to go out there all rambo with guns blazing... those fools were the first to go. I found myself a good perch with a view... easy access... secure. And I waited.

Now I know what you're thinking. You just waited while the apocalypse was burning the world all around you? Yeah, I waited. It was the only smart thing to do and that's why I survived. I used the side of an old Buick door and a piece of chalk to keep tally. That's it up there over the fireplace. Not many can claim a kill sheet that long, let me tell you. Not that I'm proud of what I had to do, but it was me or the zombies. Kill or be eaten. And they were hungry. For brains.

Don't ask me why, but they seemed to love feasting on brains. I bet if you could go back there to that perch I had, you'd still see one of 'em pinned to the telephone pole across the street. You see, it was on my first night when I was still settling in for the long haul. One of the runners heard me rattlin' around up there and came running from three blocks away. I saw him out of the corner of my eye and readied my bow. Now there were abandoned cars all over, fires in the streets, buildings crumbling... it wasn't an easy shot you see. I had to ricochet my arrow off the side of a bus, off the building near it, then off the top of an overturned taxi cab... and I only had one shot he was coming at me so fast. I hit the bastard right in the neck and he wound up pinned to a telephone pole right across from my perch. He hung there squirming and growling throughout the whole apocalypse. He was my first kill and I left him there as a warning to all those who followed. "This is Wonko the Sane's turf," it said. "Turn back or else."

By the time the national guard was called in to pull out the survivors, you couldn't even see the street around my perch anymore. Rotting zombie corpses were all you could see in either direction, arrows sticking out of their heads... their knees... I owned that street.



Alright kiddos, time for bed. Let's go.

[Theicecreaman]

[Wonko the Sane]

It's official. Less than ONE MONTH to go until the end of the world! 28 days and counting, folks!

How are you going to spend your last days? Are you hoarding canned goods? Are you cramming in all the gaming time you can possibly squeeze into one month? Or does the daily routine and feigned ignorance give you comfort as you face the bitter end of it all?

[Shinja]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-20501091

THEY'RE A BIT LATE HUH? DON'T THEY KNOW THE ROBOTS, ALIENS AND ZOMBIES ARE GONNA BE TEAMING UP TOGETHER IN UNDER A MONTH?

[Wonko the Sane]

"The Centre for the Study of Existential Risk (CSER)"

Reminds me of CEDA from Left 4 Dead. They're the organization that will assure us the Robots pose no threat, and then we'll all be wiped out because they lulled us into a false sense of security.

24 days and counting! I'm getting my L4D2 practice in while I can.

[Wonko the Sane]

21 days left, folks.

We know the world is ending because they stopped making Twinkies. And we all know that there are no Twinkies after the apocalypse.

[blivvy]

These scenes come to mind

[Theicecreaman]

How ironic is that...that was an awesome movie!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/29/hostess-executive-bonuses_n_2210515.html

Check this out...

[Chip]

We are all screwed.

[Wonko the Sane]

Oh wow that's hilarious! Who makes those kinds of connections!?

I'm officially adding "Death by Gangnam Style" to the list. I think that's the one that will finally do us in!

[Wonko the Sane]

Next wednesday, 12/12/12, is the last repetitive date like that we will ever see. For the rest of all of forever. There's no more. Ever.

Yet more evidence that the world is ending. But I still think the fact that there will be no more twinkies should convince even the most dedicated nonbeliever.


Just over TWO WEEKS left folks! Time to revisit the list and tell us your preferred method of global destruction.

My first choice would be Giant Auto Pilot Android Asteroids From Another Galaxy (GAPAAFAGs for short). It's likely to be quick and painless and gets that whole messy business of the impending apocalypse over without dragging it out over four seasons of awful cliffhangers where you don't know if the zombies ate so and so. My second choice would be death by feminine wiles. 'cause at least I'd die happy.


Also, an update to Chip's post about the Gangnam Style video heralding our destruction... the views keep climbing and are totally on track for that prophecy to come true!

[Theicecreaman]

Well, Wonko, you see...I'm going to have to add on to that list because I just don't believe it's quite complete yet. And after all, a list should be complete, yes? How can we go about the end of the world without a complete list? That's idiocy.

I call on...this guy:


Who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree
Sexual Harassment Panda!
Who explains sexual harassment to you and me
Sexual Harassment Panda!
Don't say that don't touch there
Don't be nasty says the silly bear
He's come to tell you what's right and wrong
Sexual Harassment Panda!

Death by the Sexual Harassment Panda.

[blivvy]

I'm not sure if this has been added to the list yet but...


Death by chocolate!

It'd be a great way to go

[Wonko the Sane]

So today I was walking into Stop & Shop to buy some groceries for the week and just outside the entrance there was a guy smoking and talking on his cell phone.

As I walk by him, I overhear the following: "They told me I have some kind of influenza, something new."

In my head I screamed "OH GOD IT'S STARTING! HE'S THE FIRST INFECTED!", held my breath and scurried past him as quick as I could. Funny part is I've been playing Left 4 Dead 2 and a lot of the safehouses have writing on the walls that say "It's not the flu!" For anyone who's played either L4D game, I think this guy will be the first smoker zombie type.

[blivvy]

That's funny, I have the flu atm...

[Theicecreaman]

That's funny, I have the flu atm...

BUURN HIM!!!!


BURN THE ZOMBIE!!!

[blivvy]

HEY! I'm not a zombie.

...yet

[Chip]

So it has begun...

[Shinja]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-20654335

More proof!

See how she says "most likely"? Yep, the signs are clear.

[Wonko the Sane]

That's the first sign that a giant meteor will becoming crashed into us. There is no preparing for this kind of imminent disaster, but pretending like buying umbrellas and stocking up on fresh water will give us the false sense of security that we need to get us through these difficult times.

To that end, I propose we take turns singing The Twelve Days of the Apocalypse. Yes, there's only twelve days left! Technically, it's Monday already so I'll start us off with Monday's verse.

On the first day of the Apocalypse,
a zombie gave to me:
A really nasty hickey.

[Sponsored content]