WBake: New Location! 20% Off Select Orders!!!

My dearest customers, employees, and shareholders,

I'm pleased to announce the opening of a brand-new Wonko's Bakery (WBake) in Times Square, New York City!  When Wonko started this venture years ago, he said to me, "One day, we're going to sell our caramel fudge chocolate vanilla cookie cakes in the greatest city on the planet."  Starting April 1, 2014, that dream will be realized.  Here at Wonko's School of Cake, we have one goal: to have the best sweets at the sweetest price.  

For the first week of business, we will offer 20% discounts on the following items:

1. Pies*
   
2. Cookies
   
3. Marshmallows
   
4. Candies under $9.00 / oz; see menu for details
   
5. Donuts*
   
6. Bridal Cakes
   
7. Thermal Detonators
   
8. Rancor Flank Steak
   
9. Hutt Muffins
   

*does not include seasonal items

Please join us and enjoy our lovely cuisine!

Sincerely,

Ice,
Head Chef at WBake.

As Appointed Chairman of the Committee for Spreading Global Awareness of Pastry Goodness and Delight (COS-PREAGA-WOPA-GOOD), I feel I can speak for all of WBake's employees when I say how thrilled we are to have finally achieved our dream of opening up shop in the home of the greatest TV host of all time, Stick Stiggly.  I will personally be selecting the representative who will delegate the task of shaking hands and kissing babies at our grand opening ceremony.

I hope you will all join us there for this momentous occasion.