The Official Epic Story Thread

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The Official Epic Story Thread

Post by Theicecreaman on Thu Dec 01, 2011 3:37 pm

Well, the forum hasn't been very active nowadays, and there hasn't been much to say in the jedi knight realm, so I figured we'd start an epic story in which I start writing something and you guys can continue from where I end. I think this works better than Wonko's story thread since we all just basically forgot about the tale, almost as if it were Canada. It's either this or we go back to banning each other. Just try and don't be silly--make it creative. I know we tried to make the "Ask-a-question" thread creative, but people just didn't really get it, so I hope that this'll be better.

So...here goes. BS-time. Oh, and by the way, feel free to be random, obscure, oblong, triangular, or rectangular at your heart's content. I expect this story to be about purple snails that live with Martian supermodels in large gingerbread houses by page 3.
(Also feel free to change up the form and whatnot. I'm just making shit up as I go along, like I always do.)

Once upon a time there was a distant, far-off land;
It's populace, so very strange, had naught but one demand:
"Cookies, candy, kettle corn"--all of which are needs!
For if appeased will they not be, they'll bite the hand that feeds!
And then amidst the discontent was there one steadfast man
Who longed for pastry's toothsome taste and soon would fight the ban--
The government's attempts to keep their lives all sugar-free,
For 'tis the day that censorship shall fail in front of he--
He took a group of mighty men, their hearts to beat were they,
To the palace of the king, in which he spent each day.
Marched did they to royalty as he was overthrown;
The man, the bravest of them all, sat on the old king's throne.

<continue>






Last edited by Theicecreaman on Thu Dec 01, 2011 9:33 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : changed word to keep rhythm)

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Re: The Official Epic Story Thread

Post by Sidneys1 on Fri Dec 02, 2011 8:27 am

From his throne: "Send out my knights", the new king cried;

And forth they sent the bravest souls, but about the quest they lied.

"Search out the boy who can be Prince," the King's viziers did cry,

And so they left the palace on steeds which breathed no sigh.

<continue>

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Re: The Official Epic Story Thread

Post by blivvy on Sat Dec 03, 2011 5:50 am

Set fourth on an epic quest did the bravest souls ride;
No foul cake nor wicked mallow shall be able to hide.
"Search high and low, search far and wide" the King's viziers did yell,
For the boy who would be prince hath been cast under the evil rodian's spell.
Into the candy cane forest they arrived;
And at last they found the sweet sugar from which they had been deprived.

<continue>

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Re: The Official Epic Story Thread

Post by Mr.Fjord on Sat Dec 03, 2011 1:10 pm

Never had they ever seen such large quantities of candy,
"Gonna be fun" said one knight, tall and manly,
"Give us your axe, I shall cut down this candy tree!"
You suppose can guess what's next, his axe cut it down,but then something rose from the stump of the tree.
Up came the Lorax, as he said he spoke for the trees! What a mad twist indeed!


<continue>


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Re: The Official Epic Story Thread

Post by Sidneys1 on Sat Dec 03, 2011 1:36 pm

Down from the stump sprang the queer Lorax,

Snorting with vim up his nose some fine Borax,

And cried with an echo across the whole canyon,

"I fear the European market will soon ban Yen!"

"My stocks and investments, my whole life annuity,

will be not even worth your lard-fat patooty!"

And so the great Lorax ran and he skipped,

off to the shore, and caught a great ship.

He sailed and he sailed, and he then sailed some more,

Until with great stress his ship reached the shore.

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Re: The Official Epic Story Thread

Post by Theicecreaman on Sat Dec 03, 2011 9:59 pm

And then from there he saw a dude
Who was in dire need of food
So gave he all his cookie dough
To some old man whose name was Joe,
And then they joined on their new quest,
To find the holy grail of jest:
Ride would they to nearest town,
For they both longed to see a clown,
A man with whom they'd form a group
To find a super-tasty scoop
Of Ice's "super-cold ice cream",
For which all folk would yell and scream.

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Re: The Official Epic Story Thread

Post by Wonko the Sane on Wed Feb 22, 2012 8:03 pm

But wait! Cried the bravest knight,
We must remember our quest at hand
And these urges for rest and sweets must fight
Or the king will lose his heir for all the land!

Old man Joe was not in agreement
And sat and satiated himself on sweets
To bring to his sweet tooth some appeasement.
The rest moved on with less good eats.

<continue>

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Re: The Official Epic Story Thread

Post by Theicecreaman on Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:27 pm

When the solar light of the scorching sun
Shines on Joe, and when his hippocampus
To crave specific sweets for his own fun,
Insane will he go! Just like Oedipus

Will he cut out thine eyes, of somber look,
And weep openly like a little child
At lost cookies, and sweets, and things to cook
While he gently goes very mad and wild

<continue>

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