Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by Wonko the Sane on Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:40 pm

Yeah yeah I'll finish the story, yeesh!

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by Theicecreaman on Mon Oct 24, 2011 3:37 pm

June 21 ftw

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by Wonko the Sane on Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:26 pm

Time to continue the story!

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by Wonko the Sane on Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:52 pm

Theicecreaman wrote:Look guys, I can see that silly circus from here! Let's blow it up!

Loki the Mouse shook his head as he watched Blivvy the Badass launch a single glorious shot towards the statue, which cried for its mommy then immediately ceased to exist.

Blivvy the Badass pumped his fist in the air and ran towards the newly made pile of rubble. "I think it's an improvement, don't you?" He asked, turning to face the others. "What's next?"

"This is madness!" shouted Billy-bob-joe-bob-joe from behind the tree.

"Isn't it fun??" squeed Loki the Mouse. "Now let's blow uuuuup..."

Loki the Mouse squinted his tiny eyes as he spun around, taking in the apocalyptic scene before them and zeroing in on their next target.

"That stupid circus we just came from, 'Wonko's Wacky World of Wonder'" he screeched, pointing behind them at the circus they came from. "I hated that ridiculous place so much. Use your BFG and blow it all to kingdom come!"

As he slowly turned around to follow Loki's excited gaze, a dastardly grin stretched across Blivvy the Badass' face from ear to ear.

"Now you've got to ask yourself just one question," commented Blivvy the Badass as he slowly pulled his BFG into position.

"Hey what about that other guy?!" Billy-bob-joe-bob-joe shouted from behind the tree. "Didn't we leave that average guy back in the--"

He was interrupted by a sharp jab to the ribcage. "Shuushupppppuh. I wanna see a boom boom!" Whispered Willy-nilly-bo-billy.

"Do I feel lucky?" Blivvy the Badass continued, pointing the enormous barrel of his BFG directly at the circus sign which read Wonko's Wacky World of Wonder: The magical, the bizarre, the absurd, the slightly average but strangely askew!

"Well, do ya? PUNK!?" he questioned, as he pulled the trigger.

Loki the Mouse sqee'd.

Icecreaman the Perverted soiled himself.

And the entire world lagged for a moment as the sheer concussive force of the explosion ripped it a new one. Silence fell as sound itself was sucked out from around our heros. The air blackened with smoke as if a dense fog was blinding them. Their skin burned from the fiery fury Blivvy the Badass had unleashed upon the circus.

Icecreaman the Perverted shouted at the top of his lungs but couldn't even hear himself over the deafening silence.

Slowly, sound began to return to the world. First, in the form of tiny lumps of rock and debris hitting the ground around them and Blivvy the Badass' bulging musculature. Then, in the form of Loki the Mouse wooping with joy.

Looking around, Icecreaman the Perverted couldn't see more than a few feet in front of him. As the dust slowly retreated back towards the center of the explosion, he began to see the outline of an enormous crater. To his utter dismay, it was filled with:


a) Clowns. A hundred million corpsified clowns.
b) Dismembered circus folk wearing hula hoops.
c) Burning beards torn from the faces of all the bearded ladies.
d) Extremely angry lions, tigers, and bears who don't take kindly to their home being blown up.

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by Theicecreaman on Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:16 pm

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by Wonko the Sane on Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:01 pm

Theicecreaman wrote:Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

Looking around, Icecreaman the Perverted couldn't see more than a few feet in front of him. As the dust slowly retreated back towards the center of the explosion, he began to see the outline of an enormous crater. To his utter dismay, it was filled with clowns. A hundred million corpsified clowns.

He let out a feminine screech in horror. "I HATE clowns!!!"

Blivvy the Badass rolled his eyes and dragged Icecreaman the Perverted by his shirt sleeve into the retreating dust, not so carefully stepping over exploded clown bits. Loki the Mouse skipped through the corpses ahead of them, humming as he went. Billy-bob-joe-bob-joe and Willy-nilly-bo-billy nervously followed behind them.

The clowns drew nearer.

"Guysguyzguyyyyzzzuuuh!!!" Panicked Icecreaman the Perverted, "that clown arm moved!! You gotta let me outta here guys!!"

Blivvy the Badass smacked him upside the head and kept dragging him forward. As the dust from the explosion finally lifted, the extent of the damage became clear. What was not clear, however, was how the small circus shack now visible at the center of the crater had survived the total mayhem surrounding it.

"That last clue, what was it?" asked Billy-bob-joe-bob-joe.

"Adhuuuuuhhhhh, blow sumah stuffah upah, and uhhhh..." stuttered Willy-nilly-bo-billy.

"Something about a house with no doors or windows, right? Think that shack up there could be it??" pondered Billy-bob-joe-bob-joe.

"But first there was something about no ammo" interjected Blivvy the Badass, "which is not gonna happen 'cause I am armed to the teeth, man!"

The clowns drew nearer.

Between Icecreaman the Perverted's squealing and Loki the Mouse' humming as he skipped his way through the remains, nobody seemed to notice that the clowns weren't entirely dead.

Loki the Mouse halted suddenly, halfway into the crater.

"Whut are wee's a stoppin' fur?" asked Willy-nilly-bo-billy.

"Shhh!" cautioned Loki the Mouse.

The clowns drew nearer.

Billy-bob-joe-bob-joe attempted to hide a nervous twitch. "Uh... guys?"

"ZOMBIES!!!" cried Icecreaman the Perverted in terror as they all suddenly became aware of the fact that they were standing in the center of a horde of a hundred million undead clowns.

"We're screwed" observed Blivvy the Badass.

Loki the Mouse spun around in excitement. "No we're not!!" he exclaimed, "this is the perfect opportunity for me to try out my new:


a) "Triforce Slash attack!! I perfected it playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl!"
b) "Zombie repellent! It was on sale at my local Buy More."
c) "Titanium razor-edged cutlass with built-in spork! I just ordered it from Thinkgeek!"
d) "Reebok Pumps!! I was feeling a bit nostalgic when I got dressed this morning."

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by Da Llama on Mon Feb 27, 2012 10:19 am

B. rendeer

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by Wonko the Sane on Mon Mar 12, 2012 9:51 pm

Da Llama wrote:B.

"ZOMBIES!!!" cried Icecreaman the Perverted in terror as they all suddenly became aware of the fact that they were standing in the center of a horde of a hundred million undead clowns.

"We're screwed" observed Blivvy the Badass.

Loki the Mouse spun around in excitement. "No we're not!!" he exclaimed, "this is the perfect opportunity for me to try out my new Zombie repellent! It was on sale at my local Buy More.

"What's a Buy More?" asked Icecreaman the Perverted. But Loki the Mouse was already trololol'ing forward with a spray can of Wonko's Fast-acting Zombie Repellent No. 2, Guaranteed to save your ass or your money back! (Some restrictions apply, individual results may vary, not to be used as a personal flotation device.)

"You guys coming or what?" he shouted backwards as he skipped fearlessly into the horde of undead clowns.

"Ahahuhuhuhhuhghch!" choked Willy-nilly-bo-billy. "Skip to dah loo my daaaaarlin'!" He sang off key, skipping ignorantly in Loki the Mouse's footsteps.

Billy-bob-joe-bob-joe took what he figured was probably his last breath ever, then followed reluctantly. Blivvy the Badass dragged Icecreaman the Perverted by his ankle.

"I HATE CLOWNS!!!" Icecreaman the Perverted cried out in horror, frantically scratching and clawing at the ground as he was dragged forward against his will.

The four of them followed Loki the Mouse, who fearlessly skipped through the famished, drooling, moaning horde of undead clowns, leaving behind a fine mist of Zombie Repellent No. 2 as he went.

"It's kinda minty" observed Billy-bob-joe-bob-joe, sniffing the air.

Willy-nilly-bo-billy taunted the clowns as he skipped past their ravenous, foaming mouths. "Neener neener zombie weener!!"

"That's probably not such a good idea," noted Blivvy the Badass. "Let's just get through this."

Icecreaman the Perverted panicked and began hitting, pulling, and tugging Blivvy the Badass who was still dragging him by his ankle. "No no no! Go back go back go back!!" Blivvy the Badass swatted the minor annoyance like a fly.

Suddenly, Loki the Mouse stopped in his tracks. "Uh, guys" he said. "I'm out."

"The shack is still up ahead," countered Blivvy the Badass. "Keep moving!"

"No, guys, I'm out" he repeated, holding up an empty can of zombie repellent.

"Oh." remarked Blivvy the Badass, his eyes slowly shifting left to right looking at the undead clowns surrounding them, eagerly waiting for the mist of Zombie Repellent No. 2 hanging in the air to dissipate.

"Alright then, hold this" he said, handing Icecreaman the Perverted's ankle to Billy-bob-joe-bob-joe. He struggled to control the ankle as the body it was attached to flopped wildly on the ground like a fish out of water.

"I have just the thing." Blivvy the Badass reached around his back looking for a weapon and grabbed hold of a big fistful of air. Confused, he reached again, grabbing another incredibly unhelpful fistful of air.

"Duuhhuhhhh hay guysez, whuts dem letters uver Blivsez headz?" asked Willy-nilly-bo-billy, looking at a figment of his imagination manifesting itself over Blivvy the Badass' head. "It sayz Duhhbyah tee effs?"

"Are you--" started Billy-bob-joe-bob-joe, still struggling to contain Icecreaman the Perverted as he flopped about, "--are you on acid?!"

"Uhhh... no?" answered Willy-nilly-bo-billy hesitantly and unsure of the full meaning behind the question.

Blivvy the Badass glared sharply at Icecreaman the Perverted, then pointed to a spot behind them. About a hundred feet back in their own footsteps, in the middle of a particularly savage looking bunch of undead clowns was all of Blivvy the Badass' ammunition and weaponry, apparently tugged off by Icecreaman the Perverted in his fit of manic terror.

"Unbelievable," said Billy-bob-joe-bob-joe with a facepalm.

"Whelp, it was nice knowing you all," lied Loki the Mouse with a shrug.

Just as the remaining aerosolized scent of Zombie Repellent No. 2 began to leave the air, the most useful bit of advice to ever leave Icecreaman the Perverted's mouth rang loudly in everyone's ears:


a) "Forgodssake RUN!!!"
b) "Beware the Jabberwock!!!"
c) "Use the WD-40!"
d) "Use Wonko's Magic Stun Baton!"

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by Da Llama on Tue Mar 13, 2012 12:38 pm

A.

Use F.E.A.R
"Fuck-Everything-And-Run"

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by Wonko the Sane on Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:50 pm

... anyone else care to vote for the next series of unfortunate events? Maybe Ice would care to weigh in? Haven't heard from 'blivvy in a while...

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by Theicecreaman on Wed Mar 14, 2012 3:51 pm

d.


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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by Wonko the Sane on Fri Mar 16, 2012 6:49 pm

I see Kai and Fjord on the forum, you two better vote!!

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by Mr.Fjord on Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:45 pm

D.

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

Post by blivvy on Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:50 pm

C will get the job done.

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Re: Once Upon a Time, an Interactive Adventure

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