Wonko's Presidency.

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Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Tasmann on Sat May 30, 2009 10:43 pm

This is the story of Wonko the Sane.'s Presidency.

It all started when the voting for Mccain or Obama for president started. Wonko felt that he should become president, though he couldn't get nominated a candidate no matter how many cookies he offered the democrats and republicans. Wonko was then really upset and for the whole week just sat there and played jk2, the most time he ever played it in a week. Then he tried to be nominated a candidate for the Presidency. So he then bribed the Republicans with special cookies called The Republican Special. However; the Republicans didn't accept, so Wonko respectfully left them with the dreaded Cookies of Death. Of course Wonko didn't mention their name. Then after Wonko left and the Republicans were about to eat the cookies when they all the sudden exploded and spawned 100 roshes. The Republicans were annoyed to death, and Wonko got away with it, the sly dog! Then he went to ask the Democrats this time Wonko offered them Pie and Cookies and the Democrats were interested. They then asked Congress to allow Wonko run for president but they said that it was already too late, but they did make him vice-president. Wonko went home thinking of how horrible it was that tragic moment had happened. When he got home he turned on the tv and was shocked to see that Obama was now the new President of the United States. He then went mad and went to the White House. He then got up into a tree and sat on a branch with a Trojan pie ready to throw it at Obama. Just then, Obama came walking out of the doors of the White House and Wonko, still holding the trojan pie, looked at the target through a telescope then threw the pie and *BOOOOOM*. The first thing Wonko shouted was, "Boom! Headshot!" Congress had found out that Obama had been assassinated with a trojan pie. Wonko then blamed Tanis for the crime and Tanis was sentenced to a fate worse than death.....The room of the 5000 smilies. Wonko was then made the President of the United States.

Story written by: Tasmann.

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Cap'nJackSparrow on Sun May 31, 2009 4:51 am

And that, ladies and gentleman, is why Wonko and Tasmann should be returned to the asylum: Wonko for using Trojan pies to assassinate people, and Tasmann for writing a story with no paragraphing and including Roshes in a story when Rosh is a banned word on any peace loving Jedi forum.

But, apart from that, you rule Tas!

Wonko as President... You've got to convince the U.K. Government to make Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear British P.M. now Wonko... More cookies if you do...

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Theicecreaman on Sun May 31, 2009 9:28 am

Fix the economy through chocolate chip delight!

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Cap'nJackSparrow on Sun May 31, 2009 10:34 am

Yeah, let's pay the workers in chocolate cookies instead of measly dollars. The only problem then is if you have a heatwave... Your fortunes would literally melt away...

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Wonko the Sane on Sun May 31, 2009 12:18 pm

Coat 'em in that melt-in-your-mouth-not-in-your-hands candy coating.

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Tasmann on Sun May 31, 2009 7:26 pm

EVENT THAT HAS JUST HAPPENED: Wonko, our president, has discovered where the cheese went! He has decreed that Theicecreaman, his secretary, to be in charge of the cheese factories that he has just designed. Theicecreaman then took 5 men with him to build these massive factories: Bulwa, Jericho, Llama, Snap, and Kaistagon. They made the first factory in an incredibly short amount of time, 13 hours, 55 minutes, 24 seconds, and 2 mili-seconds. Wonko then issued the "Cookies for Life!" act of which every store that sells food has to sell the School of Cake's special cookies. Wonko then declared war against a new nation, of which the name of the nation was, Ca (Clan apathy). He then ordered a great battle hero, Tasmann, to lead the School of Cake army into battle against the Ca forces. Tasmann took his army and began the assault on the nation. It was a very bloody battle, Trojan Pies were all over the ground and up in the air, Ca bodies were all over the battlefield, Planes armed to the teeth with Cookies that bite back launching them all over the place, Tanks filled with razor-sharp cookies. It was a horrifying battle, but when victory of the School of Cake was surely in sight, Tasmann ordered that his whole army to retreat from the battlefield, direct orders from the President, Wonko. Wonko then gave to order to launch the Cookie nukes to the battlefield and *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*. The battle was won. Both Wonko and Tasmann were recognized as War Heros, and guess who recognized Wonko and Tasmann as war heros, that's right Wonko himself. Then came the day where Wonko would select someone to be his Vice-President. He chose Mr.Juheti to be the Vice-President, of which everyone approved of it. Congress was amazed by how great this particular president was. Ca was asking for terms of peace but Wonko, hating Ca, Cookie nuked the rest of the nation and wiped it from the face of the planet.

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Theicecreaman on Sun May 31, 2009 8:02 pm

The following pic was going to be in What's In The Oven? Episode#4, but I probably won't be doing any more of those.
<3 Wonko xD
These are all real pics taken in-game.
BTW, the text on the right won't show.. sorry!

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Loki on Sun May 31, 2009 8:46 pm

Lord of Lords (thats me btw,) I future in that image! Cheers all round! Get the rum!
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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Tanis on Sun May 31, 2009 10:17 pm

Tasmann wrote:This is the story of Wonko the Sane.'s Presidency.

Wonko then blamed Tanis for the crime and Tanis was sentenced to a fate worse than death.....The room of the 5000 smilies. Wonko was then made the President of the United States.

affraid Why?!
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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Tasmann on Sun May 31, 2009 10:41 pm

Because you're always guilty Very Happy
MORE EVENTS UNFOLDING:
TANIS HAS SURVIVED THE TORTURE AND HAS BEEN LET OUT. Wonko has given him a second chance to not ruin the cookies in the bakery again (this was also a reason why he blamed him, we all know how terrible Tanis is at baking Razz). Wonko then resumed to the concerns of the new cheese factory he flew all the way to Minnesota to talk to Theicecreaman who is running all cheese factories from the cheese headquarters, Theicecreaman reported that production and demands have both doubled, and that we are making lots and lots of money and chocolate chip cookies. But then.....Tanis just couldn't keep outta trouble. He totally destroyed an oven and 1000 cookies. Wonko then issued a decree sending Tanis to the asylum in a white padded cell.

More news of Wonko's Presidency progress will be announced the next time I start posting it here.

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Wonko the Sane on Mon Jun 01, 2009 12:24 am

rofl Keep them coming!! I will have to archive this in the official history books of the School of Cake when it's all finished.

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Cap'nJackSparrow on Mon Jun 01, 2009 5:40 am

Wonko make me your Supreme Judge!

I'll pass laws making it so that everone must drink at least a bottle of rum or grog a day!

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Tasmann on Mon Jun 01, 2009 8:34 am

Wonko's way ahead of you Cap'n observe.
ANNOUNCEMENT:

Wonko has just passed the "Grog'n rum land" act! This is where the beer brewers, every single one of them, including trainees, have to make grog and rum 9/7 and the others at 5/7, if the beer was terrific they'd keep on brewing, if they sucked they were be-headed. And of course he has put Cap'nJackSparrow in charge of this project, of which, under his direction, demands from the beer stores have been multiplied 10 fold! One particular customer said, "This is the best friggen beer I have ever tasted in my entire life!" It seemed as though this President would have even more terms than Roosevelt! Congress was considering letting the current president to serve many terms, concerning how the people were constantly cheering, "Wonko for president for life!" Then on Tuesday, May 29, 2009 Wonko issued the order to launch 100 bombers filled to the bone with Cookie nukes to destroy all other nations and take over. This act was known as "World Domination". The nations were trembling with fear and hit Wonko with peace terms left to right, but Wonko declined every peace terms that he had gotten from the other nations. The other nations were then very angry and decided that they too would bomb the United States, but they had to get through one obstacle first, The School of Cake army. Lead by Tasmann, the most daring pilots shot each bomber down one at a time until they were all annihilated. The people of the United States were forever in debt to Wonko and Tasmann. Another event was also unfolding: the Ca slaves were rebelling against Wonko. The raided the White House but Wonko was prepared, COOKIES THAT BITE BACK! He threw them at each and every one of the rebels, the cookies ate their brains out, the floor was red with blood and guts not a single rebel was preserved. As for the other nations, the bombers have successfully bombed everyone of them and the ground troops moved in to take every spec of land that wasn't of the United States already to make them one with the United States. World Domination was complete the people were cheering flags were waving and down the street came Wonko with his dear friends, Alice, JubJub, and Tweedledee in his cake-mobile.

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Cap'nJackSparrow on Mon Jun 01, 2009 9:31 am

The world domination flavour rum circa. 2009 is out shortly!

Preorder today!

WONKO! WONKO! WONKO!

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Tasmann on Mon Jun 01, 2009 12:33 pm

This just in! Wonko, our president has made his first public speech!



In this speech he has announced that the world's amount of Candy Marshmallows Cookies Pie and Cake have gone from %25 to %50!
He has also announced the Sweet Week where during 1 whole week in each month all sweets will be free! He also has announced that all clans be banned except of course for the School of Cake sidekick clan ><IKBR><!





(btw I had to bubble cause that idiot Storm a.k.a. Andrew came by and started annoying the heck outta me -_-)

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Wonko the Sane on Mon Jun 01, 2009 12:53 pm

rofl Oh that's what you were doing in there.. I saw that and was like Psycho

Also... that was clearly the most awesomest of all the chapters of this history.

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Tasmann on Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:28 pm

Wonko has made a Sanity academy where he himself will teach even the most insane of people! Also he flew to Italy and hired some Italian chefs and bakery cooks to the School of Cake in order to help the School of Cake on a new project that each academy is working on: Spaghetti Cookies, Lasangia Marshmallows, Manicotti Pie, and Candy Pizza. Every project was completed successfully and were sent to the president for official tasting, to him it was terrific! As for the progress of the first day for the Sanity Academy 70 people have been made Sane! Never has the USA seen anything like it! As for Tanis...he has gone to the point of no return.....aparrently he has killed himself by baking himself in an oven at the asylum. The day this happy Wonko proclaimed it a holiday the Death of Tanis Day. Everyone was over-joyed, fireworks were in the air everyone was eating cookies and pie and other sweets, confete was flying through the air, it was a wonderful day! A message from Congress to Wonko: President Wonko, you are by-far the most awesome president we have ever had totally rightuous! Thumbs Up Wonko also helped the econemy by substituting money with chocolate chips. This increased the wealth of the US which was now expanded across the world! Theicecreaman's cheese factories have also improved quite a bit, production has been increased to 100% and demands have been increased to 95%! As for the School of Cake their Project list is 75% complete!

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Tanis on Mon Jun 01, 2009 7:44 pm

I've commiteds sucide?! AHHHH!!!!
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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Tasmann on Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:06 pm

ANNOUNCEMENT: WONKO HAS HAD ANOTHER MEETING WITH CONGRESS DISCUSSING THE PROGRESS MADE ON THE SCHOOL OF CAKE PROJECTS.

They have concluded that the School of Cake is officially the master of all pastry.
Also they have discovered that Tanis put someone in his place to be taken to the asylum Congress and Wonko have decreed that everyone be on the look-out for Tanis and take him down with force. Kill him on sight. And while Wonko was walking down the street and BOOOMMMM /telegun'D! Also they have said that the School of Cake has the best and most unique sweets of all time. Thumbs Up


Last edited by Tasmann on Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:52 am; edited 4 times in total

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Tanis on Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:09 pm

Kk useless thing right there. We all knew it already.
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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Tasmann on Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:51 pm

Tasmann wrote:They have concluded that the School of Cake is OFFICIALLY the master of all pastry.
I can see it now in 2 days the customers will be like Drooling and we'll be like Ping Pong and they'll be like Ranting and we'll be like Coffee and they'll be like Banging Head and we'll be like Yawn and they'll be like Vampire and we'll be like Panic Attack and Wonko will be like Eating
Woohoo yeah! Thumbs Up

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Tasmann on Tue Jun 02, 2009 5:55 pm

Wonko, our president has made an announcement today. He has said that he shall now open the empire cake building. This building is to be built in the form of a giant cake and have vending machines on every floor that vends cake cookies pie candy marshmallows and other sweets for only 25 cents! He also has also announced that he was on vacation for a week and has come back with new ideas brewing up! Or should I say......is bak'n in the oven? He has also proudly announced that a monument was put up in the White House's front yard, this monument is....

That is all for now.

BTW YOU GUYS MADE ME DOUBLE POST >:O! SO DON'T GO WHINING TO ME!

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Da Llama on Wed Jun 03, 2009 12:48 pm


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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Tasmann on Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:04 pm

Announcement from the President:
The School of Cake's Marines led by General Tasmann have successfully invaded and destroyed the Flaw nation. Also the cheese factories in every aspect have gone up to 100% also all candy stores have successfully been enforced to sell their candy free and the School of Cake's special candy for 25 cents per piece. The same goes for the stores' cookies and marshmallows. And as for all the common bakeries, the same thing has happened to them and all their pie and cake only School of Cake pies and cakes have a price and a very low price too for a very high quality of sweetness. Also news of the monument came in and says that the Wonko the Sane. monument is finished.

Also.... HE HAS PERSONALLY DESTROYED ONE OF THE MOST ANNOYING MAPS OF ALL...ffa_bespin!







Last edited by Tasmann on Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:38 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

Post by Da Llama on Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:29 pm

Wonko is now president as we all know, But...

Wonko went into the C.I.A and hacked the JK2 server Wonko's world! And became level 5 admin, And also *dont try this at home, kids* he said !monkme. Oh no!!!

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Re: Wonko's Presidency.

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